Toxic people. Who are they and how do we stay away of them?

Updated: Dec 9, 2018

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When we say toxic people, we mean people whose attitudes, words and negative energy become like a poison that becomes harmful to our psychological, emotional and, by extension, our physical health.

Let us not forget that our negatively affected psycho-emotional state can become a pathological symptom in various forms.

Toxic behavior can come from anyone: friends, relatives, partners, colleagues, companions or children. The toxic person can be defined as;

  • They behave manipulatively

  • They are overbearing or humiliating

  • They victimize themselves

  • They are overly critical

  • They do not accept "no" as an answer

  • They carry out any kind of abuse (verbal, financial, physical ...)

  • They cause oppression, anxiety, fear, devaluation, disappointment and/or sadness

  • They show negative thoughts, feelings and constantly sees the ugly side of life

  • They are only interested in themselves

  • They are jealous and not satisfied with anything of their own

  • They are a narcissist and their image is of utmost importance to them

  • They show arrogance and believe to be the best and the most correct of all

  • They blame everyone for their own problems

  • They take pleasure in the misery of others

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Often when we are around toxic people, they can make us feel cautious, restrained or that we can not be our true selves.

The closer we are to a toxic person, the more effective their 'poison', as we become unaware that the negative effects are taking hold.

Often we get embroiled in their behaviors and try to 'save' them from the injustices that have befallen them. Or worse, we can also become influenced by their behavior and the over-dramatisation of their everyday life. So we begin feel angry, tired, exhausted, ashamed and often self-helpless ourselves.

And because no one has the right to define, reduce or offend us we must protect ourselves from these negative people.

  • First, identify and evaluate if there are any toxic people in your life.

  • Decide whether you want to keep this person in your life, whether they are important to you or whether their circumstances are compelling (they are a partner, relative, colleague).

  • Redefine the boundaries of your relationship with them. Set and maintain yourself these limits.

  • Target your attention and care to yourself so that you are protected from the unhealthy and harmful attitudes of this person

  • Do not burden yourself with the goals of changing or helping a toxic person to stop being toxic. Usually they do not even know they are anyway.

  • Shield yourself to maintain your psychological well-being.

  • Do not allow yourself to become a toxic person by reacting to his or her own behavior in a similar way. Keep yourself and your values ​​high.

  • Seriously consider the possibility of moving your life away from them to better protect your mental well-being and balance, as well as to create time and space for healthy and beneficial relationships.

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